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Stimming and Hand Flapping When Excited – What is it?

Is it a problem if a child is stimming and hand flapping when excited?  Sometimes, children will flap their hands or engaging in self-stimulatory behaviors (also called “stimming”) when they are excited, anxious, overwhelmed, or having other strong emotions.  “Stimming” refers to the things a child does to get extra sensory input when he needs it, such as hand flapping, rocking, humming, spinning, banging, or scratching. These behaviors help a child regulate their system and are very important to daily functioning for many children. In general, we don’t want to stop these behaviors since they serve a necessary function for that child. But sometimes, those behaviors can become self-harming or they can disrupt a child’s life in such a way that they want or need to change them.

This article is aimed at helping families and speech-language pathologists understand how we can help to modify stimming behaviors that are harmful or disruptive to the child.  Click here to access our stimming and hand flapping replacement workbook in our free speech and language activities library.

Can Stimming and Hand Flapping Occur in Children who are Not Autistic?

Stimming behaviors are common in children with autism as well as those with sensory-processing disorders. However, typically-developing children sometimes do these things as well. Just because a child is flapping or doing other stimming behaviors, it doesn’t mean he has autism.

Many people see a child rocking or flapping and they think, “Oh, that child has autism.” That’s not always the case! These behaviors are caused by unmet sensory needs and can be found in all different types of children, even those without disorders. In fact, adults often engage in self-stimulatory behaviors. We have just found socially acceptable ways of doing them, such as tapping our foot or sitting on an exercise ball chair at work.

For example, when I have to sit in a long meeting, my foot starts shaking, I doodle on my paper, I take out a piece of gum to chew, or I stand up and take a trip to the bathroom to get some movement in. All of these things are because I have been sitting without much sensory input for too long and my body is asking to move. If you saw me at a meeting, you wouldn’t think anything of it because we all do little things like that. However, children don’t know how to get those needs met in socially acceptable ways so they tend to engage in self-stimulatory behaviors that are less common in adults, such as hand flapping, rocking, etc.

What does it Mean if a Child is Stimming and Hand Flapping When Excited?

These behaviors tell us that a child is not getting the appropriate sensory input that he needs at that time. It could be that he just needs to get up and move. Or, it could mean that his sensory processing mechanisms are confused and aren’t receiving signals the way they should be. If a child shows a lot of stimming behaviors, you may want to look into finding help for the child’s sensory processing needs. There are clinics that are devoted just to helping children with sensory processing.  Start with a local occupational therapist who specializes in sensory processing and regulation.

Do we Need to Stop Stimming and Hand Flapping Behaviors?

Stimming behaviors help a child regulate their system and are very important to daily functioning for many children. In general, we don’t want to stop these behaviors since they serve a necessary function for that child. But sometimes, those behaviors can become self-harming or they can disrupt a child’s life in such a way that they want to change them.

Some stimming behaviors may be causing a child physical harm, such as biting or scratching himself. Other things may call undue attention to the child which can cause him to have trouble making friends or engaging in social interactions. Other behaviors may begin to interfere with his education, for example if he is rocking or flapping so hard that he can’t focus on the teacher. Self-stimulatory behaviors by themselves are not a bad thing, but the side effects caused by them can be difficult for a child to cope with.

The information on this page is to be used for a child who needs to stop a self-stimulatory behavior because it is either self-harming, interfering with a child’s education, or because the child himself wants to change the behavior. If a child is stimming but is not bothered by the stimming and is still able to function well in day-to-day life, then there is no need to replace the child’s stimming behavior with something else. Self-stimulatory behaviors should not be stopped just because it will make the child look weird if the child is not bothered by it. However, if the child is embarrassed by his or her stimming and wants to stop, there should be information available to help the child. That is what this information is for.

How to Help with Stimming and Hand Flapping Behaviors:

As we mentioned before, we should only think about stopping hand flapping or stimming behaviors if they are harmful or if the child wants to change those behaviors.  Children use these behaviors to get their sensory systems regulated and we can’t just take this away.  However, we can help a child swap out harmful or problematic stimming behaviors for replacement behaviors that are less harmful, less distracting, and less noticeable to other people (while still helping the child meet those sensory needs). Follow these steps to find out how:

1. Work with an Occupational Therapist

Stimming behaviors are, at heart, a sensory problem. That’s why it is crucial to get an occupational therapist who can work with sensory processing on board. This specialist will be able to identify unmet sensory needs and offer suggestions for replacement sensory input.

2. Identify the Behavior and the Unmet Need:

The occupational therapist and speech-language pathologist can work together now to try to identify what need is going unmet and what the behavior is trying to communicate. Behavior is communication, even if it’s just saying “SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT!!” The first thing you must do is identify what the behavior is and what sensory need it is meeting. For example, you may identify the behavior as flapping, rocking, biting, etc. Then, write down all of the times that you notice that behavior happen for a while. Make note of what the child was doing before, during, and after the behavior.

You may notice that the child always starts doing the behavior when he’s been sitting for too long, when he’s tired, or when he’s excited. Also, make note of what sensory input the child is probably getting from that behavior. For example, if the child is flapping his hands, he is probably getting sensory input in his fingers. If he is rocking, he is probably receiving sensory input about balance and where his body is in space. Take some notes that will help you come up with some ideas of other behaviors you can try to replace it with.

3. Try Replacement Behaviors that Meet the Same Need:

Now we will try some other behaviors that will replace the self-stimulatory behavior but that are safer or less distracting. Keep in mind that the child’s new behavior may still not look exactly like other children his/her age, but we are going for more safe or less distracting. Once the child gets used to the new behavior, you can always try to teach him a different behavior later. You will want to try several different replacement behaviors to find what works best for the child. Keep trying them until one seems to stick or resonate with the child.

As speech-language pathologists, we can help facilitate any communication strategies that would be necessary in this stage. For example, if the child hits sensory overload when they are frustrated, we can help them communicate that emotion and ask for what they need using language. Or, we can help the child communicate the need for a particular sensory break.

Use this chart to determine which replacement behaviors might be appropriate to try with a child based on the information you collected during the last step.

Strategies for Getting Sensory Needs Met

Child Has Been Sitting Too Long

  • Have child request a movement break
  • Offer alternative seating for the child, such as a chair vs. floor, sitting on a pillow, sitting on a small exercise ball, etc.
  • Offer child a fidget toy to play with while sitting (something small and non-distracting that can keep his hands busy)

Child is Tired

  • Offer child a short nap (if possible)

Child is Excited

  • Replace with clapping hands
  • Replace with squeezing hands together

Child is Angry/Upset

Child is Flapping/Sensory Input in Fingers

  • Replace with squeezing hands or pushing hands together
  • Offer child a stress ball or squeezable toy to play with
  • Replace with child sitting on hands (to feel that pressure)

Child is Rocking/Sensory Input for Balance and Body

  • Have child rock side to side instead of front to back. This looks more like swaying along to music than the traditional rocking. It’s also easier to keep his eyes on the teacher this way.
  • Offer child a big hug, squeeze him tightly all over his torso to get that pressure
  • Have child wear a tight vest or shirt. They make special sensory shirts that hug the torso with gentle pressure.
  • Have child request a break to go roll on the floor. Or, roll him up in a blanket like a burrito. He may miss a few minutes of whatever you were doing, but it will be worth it if he can focus when he gets back.

Child is Biting Himself/Sensory Input to Mouth

Child is Biting His Arm/Sensory Input to Arm

  • If child doesn’t respond to the mouth techniques, maybe he needs the sensory input in his arm. Try teaching him to squeeze his arm in that place or you can do it for him.

Child is Scratching Himself/Needs Deep Pressure Sensory Input

  • Try offering child some deep pressure when he does this. That means, tight squeezes all over his body. You can also have him lay down and roll a big ball over his body. I’ve even lightly squished a child between two bean bags. The child will tell you with his actions if he likes it or not. Don’t keep trying something he’s not comfortable with, but one of them may work.

Keep trying until you find one (or a few) that the child seems to respond well to. Work closely with the occupational therapist for this step.

4. Teach the Child How to Use the Technique(s):

If the child is able to do some of these strategies on his own, keep showing him how to do it and then let him try by himself. Keep practicing until he can do it with just a verbal reminder. Then, every time he starts doing the prior stimming behavior, remind him to use the new strategy.

If it is a strategy that the child cannot do alone, teach him how to ask for the strategy to be done for him. For example, if the strategy is to go take a movement break where he gets rolled up like a burrito, have him verbally ask for a break. Or, have him go find a “break card” (I use a red square with an X on it) and hand it to you. You can place these cards strategically in places he may need it.

If the child is not able to request these techniques at this time, that’s ok. Just keep doing them for him but keep talking to the child about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. He may start to pick that up on his own and eventually ask for it. Keep working on these replacements and hopefully you will make the new behavior just as strong as the old behavior was.

Additional Resources:

Need more support working with children with stimming and hand flapping?  We have a ton of great resources for working with children who are struggling to communicate their wants and needs.  Check out our most popular resources for this population:

Replacing Stimming and Hand Flapping Behaviors Kit

Behavior Program for Children with Language Delays

How to Replace Challenging Behaviors with Communication | Available In The Hub

Functional Communication Course Bundle

Unlimited Access to Courses

Join The Hub to access all of our courses on communication, behavior, and autism.

Free Therapy Materials for Working with Stimming and Hand Flapping and Other Behaviors:

Check out the freebies that we have inside our Free Therapy Material Library!

Stimming Replacement Workbook

Calming Children: Self Calming Strategies

Self Calming Visual Aids

Behavior Analysis Data Sheet

Stimming and Flapping Tracking Data Page

Carrie Clark, Speech-Language Pathologist

About the Author: Carrie Clark, MA CCC-SLP

Hi, I’m Carrie! I’m a speech-language pathologist from Columbia, Missouri, USA. I’ve worked with children and teenagers of all ages in schools, preschools, and even my own private practice. I love digging through the research on speech and language topics and breaking it down into step-by-step plans for my followers.

Fun Fact: I’m also a mom of two amazing little guys.  I have to admit, being a parent is MUCH harder than I anticipated!  I knew it would be hard but I thought my previous experience working with kids would mean I’d be amazing at it.  I try my best and I think I’m doing a pretty darn good job but whoa!  Parenting has been way different than working with other people’s children!

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